As they were at the table* eating, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, one of you eating with me here will betray me.” Greatly distressed, each one asked in turn, “Am I the one? (Mark 14:18-19 NLT)
"Am I the one?"
This question says a lot.
To us it's easy to see Judas Iscariot as a traitor. We know the backstory already. But, at that moment, Judas was so discreet that none of them suspected him. In fact, they all suspected themselves!
Here's what really gets me. "Each one asked in turn, 'Am I the one?'"
That tells me that each one of them believed he was capable of betraying Jesus.
This sounds incomprehensible to me...at first.
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I, too, am capable of betraying my Jesus. Yes, I am. I have. I do.
Admitting that I'm capable of such betrayal; such treachery. Self-awareness is so under-rated.
It's also learning to walk so closely to Jesus that I guard against such treachery. I pray for God's Spirit to keep me close and clean keeping watch and guarding my heart. (Proverbs 4:23)
Close. Close fellowship with him. Trusting obedience.
Clean. Short accounts with God. No unconfessed sin.
Self-aware. And never forgetting of what I'm capable of.