Here's how his article starts,
Neue Magazine - The Supernatural Life
Francis Chan | 07 September 2010
When you’re alone with the Word of God, you probably have less peace than you’re willing to publicly admit.
You’re fine at church, attending conferences or spending time with churchgoers. But when you’re studying God’s Word by yourself, a sick feeling creeps into your stomach. How can you reconcile Jesus’ teachings with what you see in the Church?
I do feel this way.
I get comfortable for a while but then I start squirming again. Because I live with this tension in ministry between doing what I've always seen done in church world and what I see Jesus living out and leading others to live out. In short, I'm frustrated because I'm settling. I not going for it.
Why not, you ask? It's pretty simple: I'm afraid to go for it.
It's a lack of confidence and faith in my Lord and Savior, I'm ashamed to say.
Lord, I ask for your forgiveness. I have settled for religion instead of the life you intended for me. In fact, I've even led others to do the same. Cleanse me, merciful Father.
Fill me with your Holy Spirit so that I'll only fear You and not the world, people or circumstances. Help me get past my fears of discomfort, inconvenience, failure and what other people think of me.
I'm ashamed of my lack of faith, courage and confidence in You, Lord. Thank you for so thoroughly forgiving me and not giving up on me. I so need You! You are amazing! In Jesus' name I pray this, Amen.